Tweeting Lessons with Peter King

KSK envisions a very special Tweeting lesson for Sports Illustrated's Peter King, who mentioned in this week's column that "Rumor has it I’m going to be taught how by my SI.com people this week…":

Instructor: So Peter, the way you tweet is by typing something into this box
and then pushing the UPDATE button.

King: This box?

Instructor: No Peter, that’s the address bar of your browser. The white box in the middle of the screen.

King: It’s asking me, “What are you doing?”. What does that mean?

Instructor: It means, what are you doing?

King: Well, currently I’m enjoying a peppermint mocha from Peet’s. PEET’S, FABULOUS JOB MAKING SURE YOUR PEPPERMINT MOCHAS HAVE JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF MINTINESS. Should I write that?

Instructor: I guess. You just have to keep it to 140 characters.

King: What characters? You mean, like Don “Donnie Brasco” Banks?

Instructor: No, I mean 140 letters.

King: But what if I want to go on longer? For example, last week Frank Ames took me to Normandie Farms. Now, I don’t know what they put in their popovers, but you absolutely have to try them. With just a schmear of strawberry butter, they are truly something special. Only gripe? The coffee tasted like it came of out the kidneys of a dehydrated old man. NORMANDIE FARMS, YOU HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT HOW TO PACK AN ESPRESSO POD… Will I be able to do this “tweeting” while I drive?

Instructor: (kills self)

Honestly ... assuming you bother going to the Twitter site, how could someone need a lesson in Tweeting? And how many lessons do you think he'll need? Do you think SI has AP Tweeting classes?

Goodness. I can't wait until someone starts a fake Twitter feed from Peter King.

Post-script: I actually have a Twitter account. But I've updated four times in four months. I plan to do better in the future. If you're interested, look me up.

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