Phelps cashing in on his gold rush

Michael Phelps should just take this bit of advice (and, really, the only advice that I'm qualified to offer him): you can't turn Lindsay Lohan into a housewife. And don't try.

But if Lohan really wants to meet Phelps, there's no doubt the Golden Boy will need to dip heavily into the massive condom stash at the Olympic Village.

Either way, it seems as if Phelps is finally poised to start enjoying the real spoils of his Olympic victories. Possibly in a way that few other American stars have before - unless I'm really underestimating the playboy appeal of Jim Thorpe.

Amanda Beard and Lily Donaldson weren't a bad start. Lohan might a slight upgrade in terms of looks and celeb status (if you can ignore that nagging cocaine problem). However, if he's really interested in going for gold, Phelps might want to figure out a way to meet with and console a really disappointed Paraguayan javelin thrower.

In many ways, that might be the biggest prize of the Beijing Games.