Saturday, July 4, 2009

Deep Thought

If Sarah Palin is a point guard, then she's definitely Stephon Marbury. Continue Reading »

Happy Fourth of July

You might not be looking for the promised land, but you might find it anyway:

And now an important word from our president:

Also, on much more somber note, I would like to send my thoughts and prayers out to the family and friends of former NFL great Steve McNair. I'm still trying to collect my thoughts about this tragedy, so I'll refrain from making much comment at this moment.

Just a terrible end for one of the toughest, most dynamic quarterbacks of my lifetime. Unless someone comes along to change my mind, McNair remains the best quarterback I've ever seen play in person. Continue Reading »

Friday, July 3, 2009

Best I Ever Had

Anyone else seen this video? It's most certainly NSFW:

Um. Yeah. Don't blame me. I'm just the messenger.

But really, a female friend of mine found the video to be terribly offensive. The First Lady had no reaction to speak of.

I, on the other hand, would have been completely, er, titillated were I still 21. At the moment, I'm not sure what I think about it. In a way, I'm trying to appeal to my better angels.

Continue Reading »

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Michael's real choice of moms

According to gossip Web site TMZ, Debbie Rowe is going to fight for custody of the two children born during her three-year marriage to Michael Jackson.

But using my deeply embedded sources in Los Angeles, I was able to procure a recent copy of Michael Jackson's will. Of particular interest was the list of women Jackson preferred - in ascending order - to take custody of his three children in the event of his death.

Debbie might have to get in line.

Keep this on the low. And don't tell anyone else where you saw this:

1. Mom. :)

2. Diana Ross.

3. Rebbie.

4. Janet.

5. Jackie, Marlon, Jermaine or Tito. Whoever calls dibs.

6. Angela Bassett.

7. The Liberian Girl.

8. Dirty Diana.

9. Debbie.

10. Billie Jean.

11. Emmanuel always told me Katherine was nice. Maybe her.

12. Anyone but Joe or LaToya. Continue Reading »

The case against running

Sarah Palin:

Yesterday morning, I went on a mostly grueling but enjoyable 4-mile run along Ocean Drive and South Beach. And I've almost always enjoyed cruising the dusty, tree-line 3-mile trail that loops Rice University in Houston.

But now I feel dirty. And it ain't the humidity. Continue Reading »

Memory Lane, part 3

Remember when I said Michael Jackson was part of a lot of bad music post-Thriller? This is what I was talking about:

How come no one put an end to this before it hit the airwaves? And the First Lady aptly mentions that Eddie Murphy was the common denominator in bad music involving two of the best - and biggest - musical acts of the '80s.

The other one, for those whose memories might be failing them.

Is Eddie Murphy really that bad of a musician? Or is this all some sort of elaborate joke with a punchline to come after all his friends from the '80s are dead? Continue Reading »

Memory Lane, part 2

Who wins in a dance-off: Alfonso Ribiero, Michael Jackson or Hammer? Actually, this question might be too easy.

Continue Reading »

On the wrong side of history. Again?

Once again, Matt Yglesias writes something that I wish I had written. Take a gander:
But here’s the question—how is it that I can’t recall an instance of Will waxing indignant about some instance of racism directed against an African-American or Latino in the United States? I don’t believe it’s my faulty memory. Instead, I believe it’s that the new “color blind” American right is not dramatically different from the old “black people shouldn’t be allowed to vote” American right from fifty years ago. It’s a movement that’s basically indifferent to the interests of non-whites and totally uninterested in the question of whether or not there’s unfair discrimination against minority groups in the United States.
Continue Reading »

Memory Lane

What you all know about "Nautilus"? If your shields are weak, you better step behind us:

Continue Reading »

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Random Acts of YouTube

But not-so-random. These are the lucky numbers my mama gave me to play.

Continue Reading »

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Gone trippin

Stop me if you've heard this before: I'm about to take a few days off.

I'll be on the road through Sunday, so expect the blogging to be pretty light here through the next few days. I don't think the First Lady would take too kindly to me tapping away at the laptop while we're supposed to be on vacation.

But I'm certain that I'll be checking in from time to time. Keep coming by, if only to admire my neat little blogroll, catch a few crazy-ass videos or take a gander at the archives.

In the meantime, let's figure out someway to keep Joe Jackson from getting in front of TV cameras over the next couple days.

Continue Reading »

The Ricci case in a nutshell

Courtesy of Matt Yglesias:
Thanks to John Roberts, the white man can finally get a break in this country.
Remember the good ol' days when empathy was wrong? Continue Reading »

Monday, June 29, 2009

Do what the man says

x-posted from PostBourgie


Last year we were finalists for the Best Culture Blog at the Black Weblog Awards only to fall short in the end. Since then, we’ve added more contributors and have generally become a smarter, sharper site.

We trynna win it this year, but we need your help. All you have to do is vote for us here.

Thanks and be easy!

post-script: Alas, False Hustle ain't big-time enough to go this one alone. But my PB fam can get us to the 'chip. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! Continue Reading »

Free Period

Your Monday Random Ass Roundup has been posted over at PostBourgie. Check it out.

In this week's edition of the roundup, we discuss the King, Ricci v. DeStefano, the impending decline of the black middle-class, a love-sick governor, vampires, Brandon Jennings and learning how to do the Moonwalk.

Continue Reading »

Sunday, June 28, 2009

MJ: Miscellaneous Jackson

This is the dumping ground for all my Michael Jackson-related thoughts that didn't deserve their own post. Please bear with me and this somewhat cluttered format:

There's never been a more talented child singer than Michael Jackson. I consider this to be an inarguable fact. ... One thing all the people running around calling Michael Jackson a pedophile seem to forget is that he was never convicted of a crime in a court of law. So, no, he's not a pedophile. And I think it's distressing that people insist upon resorting to that terrible slur. ... And no, I don't think he ever intentionally touched a kid inappropriately. ... I'll never forget that my mama started crying a bit when Michael was acquitted of those child sex abuse charges in 2005. You've never met anyone more loyal than my mama. ... But I do wish Michael had refrained from sleeping in the same bed with children. It just wasn't a good look. I knew from jump, when I saw him holding hands with that kid (his later accuser) in that Martin Bashir documentary that it was going to be trouble again. ... MJ fans really don't seem to like Bashir. Or maybe that's just my mama. Either way, I don't understand this because Bashir was simply doing his job. Too bad if people mistook that for something other than what it was. ...

... I actually was fortunate enough to catch the Bad tour when it swung through Houston in the fall of '88. The concert was held at The Summit, then home to the Houston Rockets. It was awesome. Much props to my parents for making that happen. ... Few musical artists - from the U.S., at least - had the fascination with Africa that Michael Jackson did. "Remember the Time" video, "Liberian Girl" and putting together "We Are the World." I think that's pretty cool. ... Speaking of which, I had no idea there was a video for "Liberian Girl" ... Wouldn't the girl from "The Way You Make Me Feel" video - Tatiana Thumbtzen - be the most famous video girl in history? ... It should go without saying that I had a huge crush on Tatiana growing up. ...

... Actually, on second thought, maybe Ola Ray from "Thriller" is the most famous video girl. ... Does anyone really know the lyrics to "Jam"? ... I've gotta think more cocaine was snorted to Thriller than any other album in history. ... Not to hate or anything, but Michael Jackson was also part of a lot of bad music. I'm thinking in particular of "Torture" and all his albums after Bad. ... After re-watching the "Remember the Time" video, I still can't believe that Michael died before Magic Johnson. I'm telling you: Magic is going to outlive us all. ... Is it me, or did Michael's videos often have nothing to do with the song? That said, no one understood the influence or importance of music videos more than Michael. ... My favorite MJ video is "Rock With You." By far. Maybe it's because he seemed so happy. I was absolutely entranced by that video as a kid. The First Lady says it may be because kids are attracted to sparkly things. Maybe. ...

... Speaking of music videos, there was absolutely no chemistry between him and Naomi Campbell in the "Keep It In The Closet" video. None. ... The nonstop coverage of Michael's death over the past few days has shown that Ave was right. ... Btw, TMZ owned the story from the very start. We might as well deal with it. ... Was I the only one made to dance to songs from Thriller for their family members? Certainly my '80s babies feel me on this one. ... In the end, Michael Jackson just seemed like the kindest, warmest, most gentle soul that has ever been a bonafide celebrity. I don't know how to explain it. He didn't make all those friends and touch all these people the world over by accident. But more than anything, I just felt sorry for him. In a way, I'm glad that he's finally found the peace that seemed to elude him for much of his life.

Also - because it's always about me here at False Hustle - I feel that I should mention that it was "Off the Wall" that might have brought the First Lady and I together.

When we worked together in Shreveport, months after we had become friends and months before I summoned the courage to make a move, I learned during one of our hours-long e-mail conversations that she didn't own a copy of the album. This was odd to me because it was one of her favorites.

I never said anything else about it. In fact, I let the conversation pass for a couple weeks.

And then, without any warning, I dropped a freshly burned CD of "Off the Wall" on her desk and walked over to my cubicle. I wrote to her: "now don't tell anyone. I don't want people thinking that I like you or anything." Sad to say, I might have ended that message with an emoticon.

But she grinned back at me.

To this day, she says that's when she knew that I had my nose open a little. And it didn't cost me more than an unused CD and a couple minutes on my laptop. Continue Reading »