Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Apropos of nothing

As a cops and government reporter, I read through dozens of pages of police reports on a daily basis. Believe me when I tell you that they're a treasure trove of tomfoolery and tragedy.

The relatively mundane items I've already perused this morning, include a stray pit bull that killed a beagle tied up to a tree in its backyard and a woman with a broken foot who wheeled herself into the bathroom to punch her boyfriend in the shower.

But I thought I'd share this line from a particularly crazy crime scene. The sheriff's deputy was writing this particularly aggrieved woman a misdemeanor citation for battery when she offered that:
"You must have seen my daughter's fake titties. That's why you're doing this."
I was looking for some file photos to see if the woman had a legitimate complaint but, alas, I turned up nothing.

7 comments:

Bougie Applebum said...

I don't know why but the woman with the broken foot has me laughing out loud.

A mother calling out her daughter for some fake tig o bitties...or maybe not so tig. So close to Mother's Day. That's messed up.

ROFL.

Jack T. said...

I agree, Bougie. Calling out the fact that your daughter has fake breasts is wrong. Who has fake breasts and who doesn't is no one's business. Unless the fake breasts were paid for by the Miss California pagent people. Then it's just funny.

KST said...

Lol. This post was NOT safe for work!

blackink said...

Is "titties" a little too blue at your workplace, KST?

G.D. said...

Comedy.

Cami said...

ROFL. I mean, I thought Pasco had you guys beat. That's crazy!

KST said...

Lol. Not safe at all! I work for the government. You know "The Man" is watching...

I actually laughed so hard the Assistant Director came over and wanted to know what was so funny. I told him and he laughed his ass off.