No future in the front

There aren't many jobs tougher or less desirable than that of a correctional officer. You would think street cred wouldn't be a problem for someone who works in a prison.

Not unless you're Rick Ross (pictured at left). Or, if we're using legal names here: William Leonard Roberts.

The recent revelation of Ross' past as a prison guard at the South Florida Reception Center in Dade County (December 1995 until June 1997) is a surprise only to people stupid - or naive - enough to believe the biography he conjured up for himself to land a record deal.

Ross has continued to deny the report, which includes his employment application and finger print card, payroll information (he earned a little less than $26K), a loyalty oath and a Certificate of Appreciation that Ross received due to his perfect attendance record.

Why Ross continues to lie in the face of the obvious is no mystery: so much of his mystique and fame depends on this ridiculous notion that he was a big-time Miami drug trafficker like the man he named himself for (who remains behind bars for running a drug empire in L.A. in the mid-1980s).

It's really pathetic, almost Roger Clemens-esque in its audacity and incredulousness. Ross had nothing to be ashamed about in the first place: he was a one-time college student, law-abiding citizen and gainfully employed adult. Can't we all relate to that on some level? Not to mention, there's not a much tougher bunch out there than those charged with controlling felons.

Instead, Ross appears headed the way of another disgraced and exposed Miami-based rapper - Vanilla Ice. That's a sad fate for a man who once mused, "I know I'm not perfect/But I perfected, what I had to work with."

But what he was working with wasn't enough, apparently. Not even for him.

UPDATE: The real Rick Ross warns William Roberts to keep it real.