Friday, April 24, 2009

My movie pitch

You know what would be cool?

Like, if I could get Beyonce to star in my movie. What would be even better is if, somehow, I could get her to talk sassy, show a little skin and - best of all - wrestle with another chick in one of the final scenes. Because that's really what this is all about.

And just for a little diversity - because like most men, I love all women: blind, cripple or crazy, 18 to 80 - it'd be nice to throw in a slinky, blonde girl. Someone who's comfortable with nudity, if that's where the writing takes me. Because we know Beyonce's not showing her goodies. Right?

(me, taking a phone call).

Right. Beyonce is not getting naked.

Also, so the ladies will tolerate all of this, I'll find some guy who's generally attractive but not so much that he'll distract from all the hot catfighting action.

(me, taking a phone call).

Is that dude from The Wire doing anything? Oh, he's on The Office, too? Even better.

Ok. So we've got the main actors. With that crew, who cares about the plot? We can call it a "sexual thriller" but go a little light on the sex, so I can cop a PG-13 rating. I want some teenagers (or any kids, really) in the seats, too.

There. That covers all the bases. Would you be interested in something like this?

(me, taking a phone call).

Shit. Too late. The guys who made Trois beat me to it.


Bougie Applebum said...

ROFL. I think that about sums it up.

KST said...

You're right, but Idris is fine... Time to break out the "The Wire" dvds.

blackink said...

Yeah, I guess Idris is the new "It" guy - even the FL agrees.

He took over the mantle of the New Dark Gable from the dude who played Cinque.

KST said...

No, No and no! Denzel still has it. They will have to pry it from his cold dead hands.